Eulogy David Turner

David was born in Slough, a much wanted son of Sheila and Derek, a cherished baby brother to Debbie and I. We knew we loved him from the beginning, we learnt over the years how privileged and honoured we were to be his big sisters.

Our first real memory of significance was when David was a diddy 3 year old dressed in an oversized West Ham Kit, the top coming down over his knees, the flared shorts, down to his ankles, the cutest football boots ever, and the biggest grin on his cheeky face. The boy was smitten. 

I Think all of you know that Tids lived and breathed West Ham for the next 53 years,..loyally supporting them from all corners of the world, rarely missing a match. 

Ouar dad continued to ‘forever blow bubbles’ with him, keeping up with their teams antics good and bad, right up til Dave was too poorly to talk.

When Dave was 6, Our dad started a team for the under 7’s, with Jim Watson in Southam. Just so Dave and Darren, could play football. Dave was fast on the pitch, never allowing his size to come between him and his enthusiasm for playing his favourite game. He had skills.

It was Jim that fondly referred to Dave as ‘Tiddler’ on the pitch. His mates soon shortened it to the infamous nickname Tids. 

Tids went to the local school, enjoyed fishing and football with his mates. There were many. David’s heart was bigger than his stature, and he was  a people magnet.

The 377 messages posted on Catherine’s Facebook page are a testament to that.

His school friends are as devastated as us.

Apart from setting the kitchen alight, trying to cook chips whilst drunk, 

David was never any real trouble. As a teenager. He was a joy to be with. I have never heard him raise his voice, talk badly of anyone, lose his patience.... He accepted everyone for who they were. A great listener, he has always had compassion for just about anyone he has met along the way. he definitely ticks all the boxes on what love is 

 Our parents divorced when he was 12 , he was a little shaken but not stirred. Dave has always been a glass half full kind of guy...and was constantly looking out for silver linings in dark clouds. Even at that young age he understood, life can be like a roller coaster. Dave always belted up and enjoyed the ride, embracing the ups and downs, even later when diagnosed with the big C.

He adored our mum,  A real mummy’s boy by his own admission. When mum had cancer, David opened his heart to God,  He Found  a deep faith  and got baptised at Life church in Burnley in 2006. 

His belief in a world greater than this,  helped him enormously when mum left us in 2007, just 67 and we thought that was young. He was broken-hearted, but understood it was better for her not to suffer anymore. He knew he would See her again. I’m sure they are still catching up on those hugs.

As a teenager he wasn’t ready to study hard for exams, so left school with scarcely a cse as evidence he had been at Southam High.

At the tender age of 17, he became an uncle, Soon he had 4 nieces and nephews, David slid into the favourite uncle position effortlessly, and remains the firm favourite among many more nieces, nephews, great nieces and great nephews.  All of them speak highly and fondly of a man that showed them how to be a gentleman whilst having loads of fun.

He has always been a hard worker, and among other things started up a window cleaning business with a dear friend, Kev Alsop. 

Various jobs followed, in Southam, then Slough, temporarily moving in with our grandparents.until he got the itch to travel, and ended up working in a bar on the Greek island, Zante. There he met Andy and soon followed him back to Clitheroe and the rest is history.

He didn’t just fall in love with one beautiful girl but two, Catherine and her 2 year old mini me, Danielle.

His heart was full, and so he remained there, getting a job on the production line at 3M.

5 years later  and two gorgeous children , they married in 1996. David was truly hoping to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary this March. He put up the best fight, but sadly did not reach that milestone, and will miss many more. There is never a good time to say goodbye. They are both so grateful, for the 30 wonderful years of loving each other, laughing together. Soul mates.

 The  incentive to provide for his beloved family, became enough to Embark on an open university degree, at 32 

Catherine supported him and enabled him to study hard, encouraging him every step of the way, whilst working full time herself, looking after the house and all the family. 

He graduated with a 2:2 degree, as a scientist at the age of 37, getting a well deserved promotion at 3M. 

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20 years ago they completed their family with Katie, he had feared he could not love another child anymore than he did Danielle and Matt, but the minute she was placed into his arms he knew he had more than enough love for all three. 

She was soon known as Princess Katie as David was over protective, of his baby girl. Such love deepened as all the children achieved so much, he was forever proud. They all know that as he never stopped telling them.

Soon after Katie arrived they returned to Catherine’s home village of Read. They loved the village life around the main hub, the  cricket club, a huge part of their lives.

Their home is always open house, and Was always full of family and friends before Covid.

Hands up, anyone who knew Tids was a crier. I’m sure his hand just shot up in Heaven. It was one of his most beautiful traits. From shedding tears every time he said goodbye to our mum after a visit,..crying with pride as  He first glimpsed his beautiful bride, then years later Danielle in her wedding dress, and walking her down the aisle...Matts graduation day....becoming a radiographer... Katie’s first day at school, then news of her apprenticeship leading to a degree..And everything in between.....his joy, pride in his family, often spilled over in the form of tears, then quickly replaced with much laughter, as he ‘knew’, all around him often took the Mickey...sounds bad now, but it was a Dave thing...all done in great fondness.

6 and a half years ago, Our hearts broke when Dave was diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer, how could that be as he was the fittest among us. His journey has been incredible.  friends and family have continually   rallied round to give lifts to radiotherapy, to cheer him up, to walk closely beside him supporting him and the family in many ways, too many to mention, .....the family are so grateful to all of you.

Catherine as always, excelled in managing life to include a horrible disease with what seemed like effortless charm, lots of love ...and copious glasses of wine. 

Dave always said she was his rock, she kept him strong on the journey. In the past few weeks as he deteriorated, she became his everything.

With Catherine’s ongoing support, David inspired every one he came across, including the consultants, nurses and GPS..helping him on his way.

All of their married life, they have made incredible and numerous memories with so many of you from all over the world. 

The new career helped them to save for their very favourite thing...yep you all know it, holidays..lots of them. Anyone who knows Tids knows that when the sun comes out...so does the deckchair. He was never more content than topping up on vitamin D, From sun up to sun down

Over the years They have travelled far, their favourites Ibiza, Turkey and at his beloved brother in laws’ luxury home in Florida.

There David would get up at sunrise and  Fish in the ‘dock of the bay’ on their private jetty. He chilled on  Mark and Pammys’ sleek motorboat, sipping a cool lager, watching dolphins, laughing with family and friends, soaking up those warm rays, loving life to the full. David at his happiest.

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 They both refused to try skiing for many years claiming a winter holiday Was not for them. 

Once Persuaded they became hooked and soon they were skiing every other year, loving the pistes, and apres ski. Dave had is own unique style, strong and steady. Just like his personality! He took all the Mickey taking of his unusual stance in his short stride. He loved it. He had an innate ability to laugh at himself.

Skiing was always with huge groups of family and many many dear friends, our family included.  It was Exhilarating, mixed with endless chuckles on And off the slopes.

Some of Our favourite memories are of Christmases together. Our legendary singing Of a rousing country roads is priceless, not only at Christmas but when 10 or more are gathered.

One of David’s overwhelming joys, was becoming a grandad in 2010 to Joseph, then again just after his first diagnosis in 2015, to Oliver. They invested in an old caravan to extend holidays to long weekends, to  have great adventures with Their grandsons.

. Just before Christmas in 2019, he received  the news that the immunotherapy had not worked and  was on borrowed time. Initially devastated, they rallied as always, and treated themselves  to a motor home. Tids’ ultimate dream. He was like a man and his castle We were unsure initially if he would be well enough to even go out in his pride and joy.  But in true David style he rose up,  took a deep breath and enjoyed many motor home adventures during 2020.

Whilst everyone was wondering about Covid and lockdown, Dave was enjoying the unprecedented sunshine so early in the year, his safe bubble with his family, Danielle and Jay had moved in with the boys, and Katie,  Dave and Catherine lived in their motor home on the drive. They chilled in the garden, Together, with his 2 metre tickling stick. Soaking up as much vitamin D as he could get. He looked well, always.

Precious quality time. 

When lockdown lifted, his goal was to make it to Europe, Covid safe in their home on wheels for a last holiday, While he Felt able.  A brave move knowing what lie ahead.

 miraculously, they enjoyed France, with their immediate family,  Scotland and the south coast, calling in to visit extended family and great friends on route, socially distancing in their gardens, in the sunshine. drinking the occasional alcoholic beverage,  laughing with everyone they met on their travels, relaxing, building up treasure in their hearts, soaking up the rays. They had an awesome time, against all odds.

David rocked cancer. He never once complained, as his body was ravaged on the inside, his smile, the twinkle in his eyes, belied any anguish or suffering going on. He felt Blessed that he did not have pain daily, 

it was more the overwhelming fatigue that limited his life. Because he looked so well, he often felt guilty that he was not able to work.  People would think he was a fraud on his mobility scooter. He looked so young and fit.

 He never gave up hope, he never stopped smiling, he never stopped Having fun and living his best life. His inspiration will remain in all our hearts forever.

Literally all of you have been part of all the precious memories, so many amazing extended family and friends. We As a family were honoured to enjoy so many with them all to. the Turners know how to have an awesome time. 

David worked hard, his last job,  was at Leyland trucks. He shared with me how he missed the people, especially the card games at lunchtime with work colleagues. They have been an incredible company through his illness.

He had a wonderful career at 3M for many years, travelling to many destinations including India, where it sounded like he laughed incessantly with precious  colleagues all the way. It was the 3M family that David always talked fondly about. He never mentioned the work itself, just the adventures that were a bonus. I never really knew what he did, he was so self efacing, never talking about his achievements.

Steve one of his colleagues at 3M upgraded him to ‘Tiger tot’ from Tids’ which stuck among them. His many lovely Colleagues there, swiftly became lifelong friends.

A solid team, Tids and Catherine often went way beyond the call of duty, helping so many when there was a need, no matter how big or small. Generous to a fault, They would drop everything to give their support to anyone and everyone. It is no surprise they have so many wonderful friends. Their hearts have blessed others, and others have blessed them. Always.

David had an innate ability to deliver a one liner, to giggle so hard, he cried, To make us all laugh til our stomachs hurt. Often  At inappropriate moments...So many times over the years, we would find ourselves on the floor biting the sides of our cheeks then snorting, well I snorted, as we gave way to a wave of uncontrollable hysteria, in the most serious of situations.  

Our sons always think of laughter when they think of Uncle Dave, they always will. I know you will to, based on the hundreds of comments on Facebook.

He was funny, he had an infectious humour, that bought light and joy to this world for nearly 56 years. For us 90 would not have been enough. 

He never stopped being the best grandad in the world, taking Joe and Oliver to football, cricket, swimming, Burying treasure deep in their hearts that will undoubtedly last them a lifetime. 

David Danced through the storm With an unending smile and enormous gratitude  to the NHS and his ‘home team‘.  Stage 4 is often Without hope, he never gave up hope.

He would often say. If I died tomorrow I would still be the luckiest man alive. I’ve enjoyed the best life, have the best wife,  an amazing family ,  so many friends. I have done all I’ve wanted to do, said everything I’ve wanted to say.  I have been so Blessed. He was grateful it was him that had the cancer as he said he could not have been able to bare watching any of his family or friends  suffering.

David repeatedly declared, before complications  that 2020 has been the best year of his life, not working due to treatment, but still smiling no matter how tired he was, he made the most of every second ... every day he considered a bonus. He even made the mobility scooter look like an adventure, especially for Oliver and Joe on holiday.

His last battle was tough, he was strong...an early Tidmass day was enjoyed, thinking he would not make Christmas Day. He did. 

So many near misses over the last few weeks and months Yet being so young his heart kept beating in spite of many infections, including different strains of pneumonia. A strength like no other.

His thoughts and fears were all about his beloved family. He adored them, he was so sad to be leaving them. The best husband the best dad, the best grandad, the best brother, he has shown us all how to be the best of everything. He didn’t want to die and break our hearts. Forever thinking of others.

Pendleside hospice was undeniably the best place to be for his final furlough and David knew that. 

It was evident that he really benefited being there with the 24/7 unconditional loving care from the doctors, nurses to the volunteers, an incredible team. Covid restrictions made the stay a little different than normal but they did everything in their power to accommodate and care for  us all.

Team Turner/fyles  bonded together in a love that was stronger than anything I have ever witnessed. Jay in the background being the hero he always has been. Friends and family supporting Catherine and everyone at every opportunity. Catherine, Dan, Matt and Katie all camped in the motor home in the hospice car park, so at least one of them was by his side 24/7, as soon as they increased end of life visiting hours. The hospice thought it would be hours, it was 9 days. A phenomena as always.

They all took it in turns to be with him, holding his hand, talking to him, reassuring him. Katie would sing gently to him, the songs he loved.

He was emotionally overwhelmed in those last days at the  depth of love they all demonstrated. David has always invoked love wherever he went, Catherine to...And all of them will continue to share his love in their hearts.

He suffered more than we could bear in his last days, and prayed he would be at Peace. On 12th January 5 days before his 56th birthday he surrendered to the inevitable, peacefully, with his beloved at his side. 

As he feared, when his suffering ended ours truly began.

I’m so glad Our brother met Andy, and came to Lancashire. And stayed. Even though it was a million miles from Newbury, I know that he did have the best life, and all of you were part of his life’s plan. 

To Catherine I will be eternally grateful for the infinite care you have given Tids all of your married life, and especially these last few months and years. You  bought out the very best in each other, laughter being the best medicine in a marriage made in Heaven. 

To Dan, Jay, Matt and Katie you are brilliant and you made him so very happy and proud. He could not have loved you more. He adored being a husband, dad, father  in law, Grandad,  he was the best of each of those. Simply the best.. I thank God for David and for you all.

David had a genuine gift, like our grandad, making us all feel that we were the most important person in his world.’  I have no doubt that all of you, feel like you were to, as he was always Encouraging and affirming us all. Keep this gift in your heart always. Never forget how important you were to him. I’m sorry to break it to you all, even myself, that his close family of seven remain the most important and we all are equal after them.

I think the tears shed on his passing would have created a river, big enough for him to fish in..he would be overwhelmed. He was Such a humble Gentleman as you know. But there have been many laughs to, and that would make him very happy. He would not want us to be sad.  So laugh as you always have done, raise your glasses to Tids when you remember him. 

Remember always  ‘WWTD’ What would Tids do? .. be kind, love always, be yourself, don’t worry, enjoy every day you are blessed with, ,work hard, so you can enjoy many holidays , ...and most importantly...

 soak up the rays when the sun shines.

Amen x

His last jaunt on a plane just before Covid, was to spend a week with Mark, Pammy and their son Grayson, It was a surprise for Mark. They have always been close, Tids was working for him when he was first diagnosed. Pammy videoed Mark answering the door Late in the evening. He got up grumbling ‘politely’, opened the door, then sobbed... whilst hugging Dave tightly, never wanting to let him go.

Emotions have been running high for us all, Tids was loved deeply by so many

He cried with deep joy, when he told me Danielle was getting married and he couldn’t wait to be the proud father to give her away and has always been In awe of the amazing mummy she is to their grandsons.

He is proud and grateful to Jay, his son in law, for the superhero he is in everything he does, practically and emotionally.

He is especially proud of Matt as a radiographer, and being the funniest comedian we know.

And  of Katie, growing up, into a lovely and funny young lady, Her accents are the best, and getting an amazing apprenticeship leading to a degree.

Merve a school and lifelong friend, messaged me on the day David passed away, saying he had not cried that much in 30 years, It was Unfathomable that he would never speak to him or see him again. Summing up how so many of us were reeling in pain.

Robert ignore these extras, I’ve cut and kept them here as I think we can do without them, but just in case Catherine wants me to add it back in.

The family have been inundated with messages, cards, flowers, wine, ...so many acknowledging how awesome Tids was and how much they will miss him. You have all been so supportive.

I have vague Memories of his drunken antics as a teenager, his friends knocking the door, and ‘delivering him to our mum in the early hours, carried high above their heads, flat, face down like a an Amazon parcel

He Set the kitchen on fire trying to cook chips late at night....then falling asleep, to be woken by mum who thankfully smelt burning in the nick of time.